Jonny Fairplay, Survivor - Pearl Islands
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What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment
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Erica - The Bachelor Rome
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I don't tell jokes. My fav comedian is Ellen Degeneres- I went on her show and she is awesome!
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Aras - Survivor Panama
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The Iraq war wasn't for oil.
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Adam - Road Rules: The Quest
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Why did the ADD kid cross the road?
Why? Wanna go ride bikes?
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Austin - Grease: You're the One that I Want
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What's the difference between a Ritz and a lesbian?
One's a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.
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Katie - Road Rules: The Quest
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I don't like jokes that are standard with a punch line. Probably because I always manage to ruin it. I like to pull pranks on my friends. Childish pranks that are so stupid, they are funny. Well, for me anyway.
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James - Big Brother 6
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Big Brother Allstars
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Jennylee - Beauty and the Geek 3
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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
-Fo drizzzle
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Carey - The Apprentice LA
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Not sure. I guess any joke that starts with "A black man, white man, and a drag queen". Scary I know, but always funny!
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Ryno - Survivor Pearl Islands
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What was the blonde doing staring at the Orange Juice??
It said concentrate.
Not my fav but the only one I could think of.
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Billy - Survivor Cook Islands
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tie:
How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut off it's nose.
What do you call a hispanic woman with no children?
A Virgin.
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Jennifer - Big Brother 6
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I'm not a big joke teller and I never remember the ones I like...but I like the one about Southwest pulling out on time. Maybe that's because I dated a pilot for so long.
A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Now let your mother explain that to you."
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Cecilia - Survivor Cook Islands
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Blonde ones...
3 women escape from prison, 1 brunette, 1 red head 1 blonde. They are being chased so they go hide in a farm. They have nowhere to go so the find some sacks and they get in. The police catches up and the see the first sack. They kick it so see what's in it. The brunnette goes "woof, woof" so they say "Oh, its just some puppies". The kick the other one, the red head goes "miaow, miaow" so they say, "oh its just some kittens". The kick the third one and the blonde goes "potato, potato".
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Michelle - America’s Next Top Model
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What do you tell a woman with two blackeyes??
Nothing you already told her twice!!
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Nakomis - Big Brother 5
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cowbell ha ha ha i love that one
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Rita - Survivor Fiji
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It's in Spanish...do you still want me to write it down?
Una pareja llevaron a su hija de 17 anos al ginecologo porque estaba teniendo dolores en los ovarios. La mama entro a la cita con su hija y cuando salio le dijo al papa de la hija, con el Dr. a su lado, que el diagnostico era que la hija tenia un soplo en los ovarios. "No Sra., yo no dije eso...lo que dije fue que se la habian soplado varios!"
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Mike - Big Brother 5
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What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are two dollars a pound and deer nuts are under a buck.
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Amy - Big Brother 3
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George W. Bush
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Marcel - Top Chef
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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
Damn!
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